Following up on more time on our San Fran/Portland/Seattle Trip, there's one more thing I had to share, in case you ever get up to Portland.
Go to Voodoo donuts.
When we arrived in Oregon's biggest city, I texted my brother, who'd spent a fair amount of time there, asking him what we should do.
Go to Voodoo donuts, he wrote back. They have Bacon donuts. And Pepto Bismol donuts.
He had me at Bacon donuts. Though I figured if things went badly, the Pepto Bismol donut could come in handy afterwards.
We arrived outside the hole-in-the-wall shop around 2pm on a Friday, and there was already a 20-minute line. Apparently the place is something of a legend around Portland.
We stood underneath their sign, contemplating what kind of absurd donuts we would get.
Their vaguely licentious motto, "The Magic Is In the Whole", kind of became our slogan for the trip. For better or for worse.
Finally we were allowed entrance into the cramped, oddly-decored lobby, where people streamed past us with Bubble Gum donuts, Fruit Loop donuts, Grape donuts. It's not the kind of place where the tattooed clerk sits and waits for you to make up your mind, so we had to make strong decisions. This is what we came up with.
From clockwise, starting with the obvious (and signature) Voodoo Doll Donut:
- Voodoo Doll
- The Maple Blazer Blunt
- Diablos Rex
- Captain My Captain
- Bacon Maple Bar
- The Old Dirty Bastard
- The Marshall Mathers (get it?)
Inside, we learned that Voodoo had also once sold Nyquil donuts and Tums-coated donuts, until the health inspector made them stop.
The crown of our collection was clearly the bacon maple donut, which I honestly expect to taste horrible, but... was fantastic. Salty and sweet? C'mon.
And yes, that sign behind me says "Keep Portland Weird".
So, if you're ever in Portland, do yourself a favor and get a donut shaped like a voodoo doll, filled with jelly (blood) filling, and a pretzel stick stabbed into his heart.
Also if you're ever in Portland, go to a bar they have simply called "Arcade", which has literally every arcade video game you'd ever want to play from your childhood. X-Men. Double Dragon. Q-Bert. Mother F'ing Q-Bert. It's amazing. They just don't have donuts.