It's almost Easter, and you know what that means! Time to craft needlessly gigantor eggs out of stuff, for absolutely no reason. Except to celebrate Jesus, of course, rising from the dead and, er, hatching... out a giant chocolate egg. Right. Anyway, here we go!
You know what, why wait? I'm just going to hit you right in the face with maybe the biggest-ass easter egg of them all. Hell, it comes in its own aircraft hanger. If you unraveled its ribbon, it could be an entry in our big-ass slip 'n slide gallery. Rumor has it dozens of engineers worked on this for weeks, instead of improving solar power or preventing global warming.
87,000 dollar (pound? Either way, it's a lot) egg from England. Yes...
Those are muthafucking diamonds on that sucker.
This ginormous egg is in Canada somewhere, commemorating something having to do with Ukraine settlers and marking the final treasure in a reduced-for-Canadian-intelligence Easter egg hunt.
Another from London. Them Brits love them some huge chocolate eggs!
This one's from Prague, and represents the dietary difference from Britain: whereas the English prefer chocolate, the Czechs eat sticks.
Found this on a website also featuring several articles about people's strange houses, and at first I thought it was somebody's futuristic, ergonomic bubble home. Then I read closer, and realized it was just another big-ass egg.
At Disneyland Paris. Only in France would they have the inedible and biologically confused "bunch of stuffed rabbits inside a giant egg".
I love this - only in America do we paint an egg by slapping a big-ass American flag on it and just hoisting it up to the sky, as if to say "Fuck you England, fuck you France, this is our big-ass patriot egg that will use up all your oil, drop bombs on your country, then drive its big-ass car over to your house and fuck your wife." This is one jingoistic egg.
I think this one's also French, judging by the writing and the stupid look on the stupid chef's stupid face. In any case, the egg's about the size of one of King Kong's ball - that is to say, fricking mammoth.
I'm in heaven. Except I think it's actually a trailer, not a giant chocolate cream egg. Either way, I'd eat my way out of it. Metal and all.
An egg from Croatia, and pretty goddamn beautiful.
I believe this one's also from Croatia, the bigger brother of the last egg. I think they were even in the same "giant painted egg for no reason" contest, judging by the similar lamp posts and weird flowers all over the ground.
I think this egg's wearing some kind of Easter hula skirt.
A good old, immoderately lavish New York egg.
A church, with an egg sanctuary, which is sort of appropriate and sacreligious at the same time.
I guess they ran a calculation on this and discovered it contains 169,000 calories. So, breakfast for Rosie O'Donnell.
A fake egg, painted with pictures of real eggs. How post-modern.
Wouldn't it be awesome if this was the last step in some giant, farm-land Rube Goldberg, where some dominos knock over a broomstick that turns a fan on that blows a candle into a burning a rope that causes this leviathan egg to fall and kill your dad?
This Romanian monstrosity claims to hold the Guiness World Record for largest painted egg, but I think several entries on this page prove that unlikely. Ah, internet, you used to be so trustworthy!
This egg looks like it's wearing a giant yellow tuxedo. Why do I get the feeling a giant stripper is about to climb out of it?
Maybe the most delicious/disgusting-looking specimen on this list. It looks like it was fried in bacon grease. Which reminds me: I scoured every corner of the web to try to find a giant easter egg made of bacon, but failed miserably. Which is probably for the best - my brain probably would have imploded from too much awesomeness.
So there you have it. The most awesome giant eggs on the internet. Now let's get back to celebrating Jesus and taking a day off of chores.