April's Couch - 2/17/05
On a related note, Noah and I helped moved April's couch into her new house last week… via a second story window.

For anyone who doesn't live in South Bay Los Angeles, the rule is that all real estate rates are pretty ridiculous (except for our house, apparently). The closer you get to the ocean, however, the more ridiculous the rents get, and the more phone-booth-sized the places get. April just moved from Manhattan Beach to a medium-level ridiculous apartment in Hermosa, which means that her rent is medium high while her house is medium small... but you can see the ocean from her bedroom window. It also means that the narrow hallway to get to her apartment is way too tight to jam a couch through.

So she enlisted the help of 3 strong men and Noah ('moted!) to help her find a way to get the couch in the fun way - through the porch door of the second-story balcony. The following plans were considered:

1) Climb on top of April's car carrying the couch, then hand it up it up to eager hands waiting on the balcony. Rejected, because April's car is too short and too nice.

2) Climb on top of the Spacemobile carrying the couch, then hand it up to eager hands waiting on the balcony. Rejected, because the Spacemobile is no longer in service, though wow, what a great final challenge that would have been.

3) Construct some kind of giant catapult to launch the couch, hoping we get the aim right to not hit the wrong apartment or smash the glass balcony doors. Rejected, because we lacked the time and the lumber… and the trajectory-engineering skills.

4) Get somebody all hopped-up on Pixie Sticks and have them single-handedly shot-put the couch onto the balcony. Rejected, because the singlet-wearing, handlebar-moustache-having Strongman from the circus was busy that day.

5) Teleport the couch with our minds. Rejected, because this isn't the fucking Twilight Zone.

Finally, we settled on a method involving ropes and pulleys and me standing on a chair below holding the couch with one hand as people dashed back and forth from upstairs to downstairs to help. At last we were able to hoist the couch up over the railing onto the balcony, without breaking the railing, breaking the glass doors, or crushing anyone underneath falling couches. Although that would have made an even better story.

At least Noah and I got our exercise for the day, and April now owes us beers. Brian didn't help, though - he still owes April a cooler.



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