As if buying a car and selling the Spacemobile weren't enough to make this past weekend notable, apparently there was a fair amount of debauchery that ensued as well. I say apparently, because I don't remember much of it.
I was gone for much of Saturday, but at one particular moment in the morning, I was selling a broken car to a Jamaican man, Noah was running around our house completely naked (he's going through some kind of nudist phase right now), Brian was passing mind-bogglingly foul gas, and Kolleen was dry-heaving from it. Yup. Just a typical day at 702 Paulina.
Sunday was the Superbowl, but before that, and of much more interest, it was also the day of the annual Redondo Beach 5K Fun Run. It's "Fun", because if you don't find running 2.9 miles amusing enough, you can dress up in ridiculous costumes and make an ass of yourself, as Treem and I did. It's also fun because apparently Seven Eleven sells beer at 6:45 in the morning, and if you want you can slam 3 Coors behind a dumpster right before the race starts.
Treem has a solid recap of all this on his site, but I'll do my best to recall my version. Also, my version is good because it comes with pictures. First, there was the running part, where Treem was dressed as some kind of vacationing pirate, and I was dressed as some kind of navy Viking with a tie on. There was nothing that made sense about my costume. You could argue that the Viking helmet and the naval jacket go together, since the Vikings were a sea-faring bunch, and maybe one of them enlisted. You could also argue that maybe the jacket and the tie go together, as in a sailor on a job interview. But as a trio… there was just no connection. Also I was wearing Wisconsin Badger shorts, where I did not go to college.
Running in this getup was dope. Running in this getup with a slight buzz was even doper. But dopest of all was running in this getup with a slight buzz, stabbing every road sign I came across with a samurai sword (another incongruous part of the costume), and yelling things like "Yar, this pillaging village is a lot further away than I thought!" I tried to keep my sword elevated in an attack position for the entire 2.9 miles, which was tight but lead to a sore arm. But all the kids in the race and watching it seemed to be way into my Viking horns. I think Treem and I placed last and second-to-last in our age group, respectively.
Next was the Beer Garden. They had cordoned off this heavenly area by the harbor and stacked about 3,000 Asahi beers on a bunch of tables for us as we finished the race. Actually there were more than 3,000 - the beers were stacked 2 high x 12 in a row x 144 rows, so to do the math there were 3,456 beers. At least until the hoards set in. For our part, we took our allotted 4 beers each, plus 2 more they gave us by mistake, plus 4 beers a mother gave us because "her 10-year-old didn't need any beers", plus 3 more from two guys who liked my horns.
As the line of beers grew shorter, the line for the bathroom grew longer, including a woman who decided to abandon the ladies' line and join the men's. Then she commented that it our bathroom very hygienic. Listen, lady, if you're in the guys' bathroom and you're a girl, you can't complain about how clean it is. Treem also bartered for some discounted churros with us - which consisted of him simply saying "How about five dollars for two churros?", and the guy, without hesitation, giving a nod of unspoken understanding and dishing up two sweet cinnamon sticks of fried dough. At some point Revan and her friend Lauren came down from Hollywood to join us, which was around the time I started drinking Asahi out of my horn. Then we went to Sharkeez for $3 breakfast and free mimosas.
Finally we returned to 702 to find a semi-nude game of beer-pong going on, which we promptly joined (the pong part, not the semi-nude part). At some point a Superbowl occurred, but nobody paid much attention to that. The day had already hit its peak and was heading down-hill. I mean, where do you go after running a beer race in a Viking outfit and retiring to a place where beer cans are stacked to the heavens like pyramids?