Venice Photo Tour! - 10/29/07
As some of you may know, I just moved to Venice. Beach, not Italy. Every new town has its quirks, Venice perhaps particularly so... you know, because it's been the pot-smoking capital of the world for thirty years. But every town's gotta be famous for something.

Now that I've settled in enough to get out and about in my new city (or sub-neighborhood of Los Angeles, I'm still not quite sure which), I finally had the opportunity to take a little photo tour down Lincoln Blvd, Venice's main north/south drag. This would be a little less bizarre if all these signs hadn't all come from a roughly two mile stretch down one single street.


This coffee shop sells both coffee and legal council. Apparently, it's a chain. I hope their coffee isn't as expensive as their legal advice.

This Halloween store is open 24-hours… you know, in case you need to buy a Dumbledore outfit at 4am, on your way to an orgy.

I've actually been to Turtle racing. You'd be surprised how fast those little suckers can run when there are 200 drunk people screaming at them.

I thought "X Lube" might just have been an unfortunately lewd, letter-falling-off typo, until I noticed both sides of the sign had it that way.

Pet Affaire. For the pretentious, Olde English pet owner. Also, while you're waiting, Lee will do just one of your nails.

This sign says "Eat Here Hoagie", but when one drives by at a certain angle, the first line gets chopped off and the sign looks like "Eat Her Hoagie." I'm not sure what this means, but I'm alarmed.

Oh! Why?

Do there really need to be 2,000 different sizes of boxes? I've been getting by for years on, like, 6. Not to mention that this sounds like title of an epic porn movie.

Nothing like a big-ass pile of logs to complete your street.

Home health care and party balloons. Sure, seems like a natural combination.

It's Tasty, Goody, and denigrating toward the English abilities of Chinese people? Sign me up!

This might be my favorite. At first, I couldn't decide was less likely:
A) That somebody would think upside-down signs would be a good marketing ploy real estate company, or
B) The stupidy needed to accidentally install a billboard upside-down.
Then I saw another upside-down Piken sign across town. Apparently, this really is their marketing campaign.

Speaking of bullet-points, I then saw the store underneath. Is this...
A) ...a misspelling of the word "canning", as in "to put something in a can". Not sure what this "something" would be in a furniture store, though.
B) ...a term I've never heard of before, involving the act of putting canes into something, like sticking bamboo rods into a couch or something. I feel like it would be easier, in this case, to just say "we make shit out of bamboo."
C) ...an acknowledgement that they actually cane people, like in Singapore?

I like option C) the best.


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