Lost Hat - 3/5/05
I lost my second-favorite black baseball cap two weekends ago. Last weekend, I lost my first-favorite.

I pretty much only wear black baseball caps, unless there's a cause to wear a Mr. Peanut top hat or a Viking Helmet. I've always owned two such hats - former baseball hats, one from high school, the other from college - to which I have a fair amount of sentimental attachment. The first hat's story of loss isn't that special - a French girl stole it from me at a party I was at a few weeks ago (that's just like the French, always stealing our hats). The second chapeau's story was a bit more interesting.

The bar Sangria near our house is always either teeming with people or else near-going-out-of-business empty. When it's deserted, I feel sorry for it, but that sympathy is mitigated when it's full, because they turn into real pretentious bastards. Keep in mind this is the Hermosa Pier, where it's OK to go into the nicest bars covered in sand and wearing flips flops and a belt bag. Yet at Sangria last Saturday night, my sandals were OK, but apparently my black baseball cap was not deemed classy enough to enter the premises.

The bouncer told me my options were A) Take the hat back to the car and wait in line again, or B) Hang my hat on their suspiciously empty hat rack by the door and hope to get it back at the end of the night. Now, upon selecting option B), I was fully aware that there was a decent chance my black cap wouldn't make it through the evening. But when I returned from the bathroom 5 minutes later and saw that my hat was already gone, I felt I was owed an explanation.

"Dude, is my hat gone already? I've only been here for 6 minutes!" I exclaimed, to which the bouncer briefly looked around the entry area and then profusely apologized. I was not to be placated, however. Until the bouncer gave me ten dollars. Then I was placated.

I pitched my first game of Varsity high school baseball in that hat. It survived many a rain delay and hot summer double-header, moved to college and California with me, and was worn and stained to the point that I don't know why anyone would steal it. It was a much-used, much-loved heirloom that could never be replacedů but 10 bucks!? Hell yeah, let's spend that shit on beer!

If anyone knows where I can get a cheap black fitted baseball cap, preferably with an orange "S" or a purple "N" on the front, please let me know.

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