Alright, phase 2 of my brother's and my quest to pick a zany trip location. See part 1 here.
So after several emails and discussions, Mark and I have brainstormed the following list of destinations. It's long, but I feel confident that if there's a crazy and fun place to go in the world right now, it's on this list.
This is from my friend Sarah:|
"I heard this great idea from one of Jeff's friends: the trans Siberian rail road. Basically, get on train, drink lots of Russian vodka, sleep it off on train (thus satisfying the mother's need for safety), get off train every so often, and arrive in Moscow to disco party with the Russian babes."
|SWEDEN||As two of the whitest people ever, my brother and I wanted to go to Scandanavia and meet some of our Aryan kin. Sweden seems like as good a place as any, especially since we may have friend of a friend (of a friend's wife) there.|
|THE AMAZON||I like the idea of piranhas. I like the idea of ancient ruins. I like the idea of rainforests. I don't like the idea of being eaten by cannibals, but maybe if we stick to the rivers we'll be OK.|
|ICELAND||They say that Greenland is all ice, and Iceland is all Green, so I think this is the best pick. We can go to Reykjavík and Hafnarfjordhur and other cities that sound like they got their names from somebody vomiting Scrabble tiles.|
|EGYPT||Sort of cliche, I know, but I like the idea of taking the Nile down from Cairo and seeing where we end up. This is also one of the few Middle Eastern countries one can go to these days without fear of getting stabbed.|
|DUBAI||This is the other Middle East destination where you won't get stabbed... if only because any criminals would probably rather stab the other tourists who have 1,000 times as much money as we do. Oh, and there are also baller casinos and rotating buildings here.|
|MONGOLIA||Mongolia is the intersection of the Venne Diagram circles of Russia and China, and I want to party with some vodka swilling Asians.|
|NEW GUINEA||I can't remember why this is on the list, but who doesn't want to go to a dope island nation in Indionesia.|
|MALAYSIA||They have those two tall-ass buildings, joined at the 100th floor by a giant skyway. I'm from a first-world country, and that shit's even impressive to me.|
|INDIA||Ever since Slumdog came out, this is totally in, and I want to see if that many people can really fit (sadly) into one slum. We also may have a connection who can show us Indian life as it is to an Indian.|
I will simply reprint this email I recieved from reader Dan:|
You should come to Austraila.
You'll be able to say that you've been to the most lethal country in the world in terms of wild animals and survived. Seriously, we took a beaver, made its tail furry, stuck a bill from a giant duck on its face... and if that wasn't enough, we gave it big fuckoff poisonous spikes. We're that badass.
You should come to Australia.
My mom sent this one in. Apparently our church has a lot of connections here. Seems like an odd place for a Minneapolis Lutheran Church to have ins, but I'll take it.|
I can't think of a better reason to go somewhere than having some sweet God hookups.
|ISRAEL||We also have some God hookups here. Mark also has a (non-God) friend.|
|ISTANBUL, TURKEY||Mark also has a friend here, and I can walk around singing that They Might Be Giants song "Istanbul not Constaninople, now it's Istanbul, not Constaninople."|
|'NAM||Mostly just so we can say "We were in 'Nam."|
|TIME MACHINE BACK TO PANGEA||I'm working on the time machine, but this would allow to fulfill my life goal of visiting all the continents all at once, and Mark's life goal of seeing a mastadon.|
Now comes the elimination stage, before I enable voting. Bash your least-favorite country here.