Song Lyrics as Bullet Lists - 8/15/05
This is my new favorite thing, ever.

On the web right now people have started doing this thing where you take the lyrics to popular songs and pare them down into lists of bullet items. For example:

  • to do
    • crack that whip
    • give the past a slip
    • try to detect it
      • not too late
  • conditions under which you will break your momma's back:
    • stepping on a crack
  • conditions under which you must whip it:
    • when a problem comes along
    • before the cream sits out too long
    • when something's going wrong
    • when a good time turns around
  • directions in which to go:
    • straight
    • forward
    • ahead
  • if one does not whip it:
    • won't ever live it down
    • won't get their way
  • ways in which to whip it:
    • (up) into shape
    • good


Can you guess what song this is?

Or:

  • Istanbul:
    • not Constantinople
    • a Turkish delight on a moonlit night
  • Every girl in Istanbul:
    • lives in Istanbul
    • does not live in Constantinople
  • Old New York:
    • once New Amsterdam
    • unsure why it was changed -> popular?
  • Constantinople:
    • long time gone
    • got the works


This works especially well with Queen songs:

  • Things which, buddy, you are:
    • a boy
      • make a big noise
    • a young man
    • hard man
    • an old man
    • poor man
      • pleading with your eyes
  • Activities you are performing:
    • in the street:
      • playing
      • shouting
    • all over the place:
      • kicking your can
      • waving your banner
  • Things which you, being a big disgrace, have got on your face:
    • mud
    • blood
  • Things which you will someday do:
    • be a big man
    • take on the world
    • make you some peace
  • Places back into which somebody better put you:
    • yours
  • Things which we will rock:
    • you


So naturally I had to try my own. And of course I had to do it my favorite song ever:

  • Oh my God, Becky, she looks like:
    • One of those rap guy's girlfriends (but who understand those rap guys?)
    • A total prostitute
  • Her butt:
    • it's just so big
    • it's just so round
    • It's like… out there
  • Things I like:
    • Big butts (and I cannot lie)
  • Ways I like 'em:
    • Round
    • Big
  • Ways I want 'em:
    • Real thick
    • Juicy
  • Things you noticed:
    • That butt was stuffed
  • Things I wanna do:
    • Get wich'ya
    • Take your picture
    • Get you home
      • Uh!
      • Double up: Uh! Uh!
    • Unnng… ('til the break of dawn)
  • Things she is:
    • Sweat
    • Wet
    • Got it goin' like a turbo vet
    • Gotta pack much back
  • Things them punks like to do:
    • Hit it
    • Quit it
  • Things I'd rather do:
    • Stay
    • Play
  • Because I'm:
    • Long
    • Strong
    • Down to get the friction on
  • Actions performed by your girlfriend
    • Rolls a Honda
    • Plays workout tapes by Fonda
  • Actions performed by some knucklehead:
    • Tried to dis
    • Had game
    • But chose to hit 'em (so I pull up quick to get wit' 'em)
  • Cosmo (and other magazines of which I am tired)
    • Says you're fat
    • Are sayin' flat butts are the thang
    • Ain't got nothin' to do with my selection (when it comes to females)


I'm so in love with this.

See part 2.

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