A could weeks ago I was summoned for jury duty, to be performed this week. This was highly ironic, considering my last name. My mother once got summoned for jury duty, and was actually made the foreman, but rumor has it the trial was marred by snickering every time the judge asked for a verdict from "Foreman of the Jury Mrs. Jury".
I was supposed to call in Sunday night to see if I needed to report Monday 8am, which would have been rather grueling considering Sunday nights I work security all night, and I wasn't about to give up my $9 per hour just to be more awake during somebody's drug trial. Thankfully for me - and for the poor lawyers who would have had to put up with my dozing off during their opening and closing statements - I did not have to report.
The same thing happened last night - I called to see about reporting today, and again was let off the hook. Another stroke of good luck - although I took a good hour-and-a-half nap last night at security, I was feeling pretty surly this morning from having to interrupt my snooze to go upstairs and unlock a door for a janitor. These five minute interruptions while I'm at work really need to stop.
So tonight I called for a third time, and the recording said that I've completed my service. Easiest jury duty ever. It probably had something to do with this being Thanksgiving week, my Jury number being in group 16 our of 17 to be called, but I prefer to believe that my name got me off the hook. I can just picture a bunch of lawyers sitting around with our forms, pre-selecting jurors for their trials, and coming across my form.
LAWYER 1: Paul Jury? What is this, a joke name?
LAWYER 2: Well, it's obviously someone with no respect for the legal system.
LAWYER 3: I agree. Let's take Nutty McDinglebutters instead.