Mysterious Streets part 2 - 9/29/05
I got the following email from my friend Jeremy regarding the Streets of Redondo Beach post:

Now, perhaps you've noticed this...but neither Kolleen, nor Amy, nor Alex, nor anyone else I've talked to who fucking GREW UP in the south bay did. And I picked up on it in my first 15 seconds being in Redondo:

In addition to Agate, Beryl, Carnelian, Diamond, Emerald, Garnet, Pearl, Ruby, Sapphire and Topaz all being gems, they're also in alphabetical order.

So, um, there's that.

Well observed, Jeremy. Though I had noticed that there seemed to be an alphabetical trend in these gem names, I had no idea that they started so nicely at "A" and proceeded so systematically. Thank you.

There are, however, a few problems:

- Why do they start skipping things? It goes so well until it gets to "F", and then... nothing. Aren't there are any gems that start with "F"? What about Frankincence? Oh wait, that's something they gave to baby Jesus. What about Franzia? Oh wait, that's a boxed wine.

- And why do they stop after Topaz, and change over to Avenues A-F (where they also stop, for the record). I'm pretty sure there are gems that start with letters higher than "T". What about Zirconium? Or is that only used with the word "Cubic" in front of it, and bought by cheap bastards like me?

- My biggest concern: What's up with all these fucking random gems? Beryl? Garnet? Carnelian!? Who knows that Carnelian is a gem, except Jeremy and the obscure gem-lovers website he probably used for research? At least now I know that Agate is pronounced that way, and not "ah-GOT-ay", which kind of sounds like it might have fit in Mexican Lady Town.

- Also, what's up with the random other gem streets, thrown in to mess up the pattern? On closer inspection, I noticed there's a tiny street called Onyx in eastern Redondo, right between Emerald and Garnet. Um, Onyx doesn't start with F. There are also two "A" streets - near Agate, there's a tiny street called Amethyst. Who the fuck knows that Amethyst is a gem? Maybe the overweight drunken ADD city planners were even more diabolical than I thought.

- Probably the only good thing that came out of all this is that I finally settled the long-running debate about how the street we live on is pronounced. It's "BER'ul", like the cylindrical wooden tub you use to clothe yourself when you're naked and you live in the 18th century. Everybody who tried to tell they were from Redondo and that it's pronounced "BURL", you can eat a dick up.



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