Words That Suck Ass - 12/15/05
...indeed, I learned a couple interesting and useful vocabulary words in my exhaustive GRE prep. But I learned a whole lot more WORDS THAT PISS ME OFF:

Moil - This word literally means "toil", or to work. Why do we need two words that mean the exact same thing and have only one letter different?

Noisome - Looks like it means "noisy", right? No, it means "smelly". It's a sense word, alright... but the wrong one? Stupid.

Ennead - A group of nine. Seriously, do we really need this word?

Pulchritude - Beauty. Yup, nothing says "beauty" like a word that's ugly as hell. I hate you, pulchritude.

Malinger - To evade responsibility by pretending to be sick. Can we be any more specific? So if I evade responsibility by pretending my father died, that's not malingering? And if I evade responsibility by actually being sick, that isn't either? How 'bout if I pretend to be sick, but only to get pity from others? Nope, not malingering either. I guess you gotta really cross your T's if you want to apply this stupid ass word.

Perambulator - A baby carriage. Really? Do we really need another word for baby carriage? Look closely, they're the same number of letters... which one would you rather remember?

Infundabuliform - I routinely use this word as my calling-card "Oh yeah, you think YOU know an obscure vocab word? Check THIS out." Infundabuliform means "funnel-shaped", and has only been used once ever in literature, as far as I can tell. Catch-22, the most needlessly wordy book of all time, used it once to describe a character's "infundibuliform jowels". First of all, who the fuck cares what somebody's jowels are shaped like? Most people don't even know what jowels ARE. Second of all, can't we just say "funnel-shaped"? It's way clearer, way easier to pronounce, and for the love of god, "funnel-shaped" HAS LESS LETTERS IN IT than "infundibuliform". Clearly, humanity does not need this word. I think Joseph Heller just made it up to piss us all off.

Precipitate - You think you know this one? It means "to rain or snow", right? Or does it mean "to bring about". Or is an adjective that means "happening quickly"? Or does it refer to high places? It's all these things. Precipitate is a stupid word with so many meanings it renders itself completely useless a word. Referring to anything from causing action to throwing things to falling off cliffs, precipitate can be used as a verb, noun or adjective. In the dictionary I looked in, it required three separate dictionary entries (each of significant length), to say nothing of its various alternate forms, including "precipitant", "precipitable", "precipitancy" or "precipitation". I think if was a dictionary writer and my boss tried to give me this word, I'd kill him and them myself.

Palimpsest - A surface that has been written on, erased or covered, then reused for something else. All I have to say is, if I ever catch anybody using this word, I will give them a medal and then choke them to death.



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