Defying popular prediction, Mama Jury did not cry when Mark and I surprised her by flying in unexpectedly for her and Papa Jury's 30th Wedding Anniversary this past weekend. She did, however, shriek deafeningly for about five minutes and nearly strangle me.
The brief trip home reacquainted me with just how goddamn cold it is in Minnesota during the winter. It also reacquainted me with an event I'd nearly forgotten that occured during our trip to Brown to watch Alex play football a couple weeks ago (by the way, Brown has since won the Ivy League Championship and Alex was named All-Ivy, as well as several other awards. Much props, little bro).
During the game, a promotional organizer interrupted our chest-paint anagram rampage to "borrow" Mark for a half-time event involving seeing who could hit a fake golf ball as close to a target as possible. Since one of the other contestants was the captain of Brown's golf team, and because Mark was extremely drunk, I sagely advised him to "just try and hit the ball as far as you goddamn can." That Mark did, and though the wiffle-ball-ness of the ball prevented his shot from going as far as we'd hoped, he still put on a pretty good show and amused everyone with his antics.
Anyway, back in Minnesota, Alex showed me a newspaper write-up in the Brown Herald that had been done on the event.
|"...Also at halftime, three contestants participated in the "2006 Women's U.S. Open Golf Challenge." The three contestants each hit two or three (organization in the end zone seemed to be chaotic) shots from the goal line, with what appeared to be a sand wedge, trying to get as close to the 25-yeard line as possible. Although the winner was not officially recognized, the shirtless man with an orange "T" painted on his back certainly emerged as the crowd favorite and arguably a hero."|
Though it's hilarious that the giant letter "T" must have seemed even more out of place on the back of a shirtless golfer than it did in our drunken anagram trio, the best thing about the article as that Mark was considered "arguably a hero."
Arguably? He's always been my hero. Or at least he is now.