Somebody recently commented that it seems like I don't live in LA anymore; all my posts recently are about golf trips or ski trips or Asian bird flu. Yes, I still live here, and yes, I'm still doing the same old thing of making money teaching rich kids how to take the SAT and tyring to make money doing entertainment writing (we have three plays coming out this spring/summer). But it's true I haven't been writing about any of that - frankly I have been out of LA like every weekend, and frankly I've been too busy and tired - and boring - to make much shenanigans in between.
While I was away apparently there was a big sewage spill in the ocean near our place, which kept me from trying out the new surf board I just bought once I returned. People on the radio were calling our city "Redondoodoo Beach" for a while, partly because radio people like to be funny, and partly because it really did smell like rancid ass for a couple of days until they got it cleaned up. The water seems to be back to normal though, so I'm free to bring my new snowboarding skills back to the waves with only the usual 40% chance of contracting syphilis from the water.
My life has come full-circle. When I first moved to LA, one of my jobs was to drive a security car around a copy machine factory parking lot late at night. As you probably know, I mostly just slept; I always said that if anyone was able to successfully smuggle a copy machine out under their coat, I'd just get them when they came back for toner. Now, though I still do security on a recreational basis, my tutoring business has grown to the point where I'm actually considering getting a copy machine. But I don't want to pay for one… perhaps I'll pay a little visit to my old security stomping grounds after all. I'll just have to make sure to wear a big coat. And not go back for toner.
Oh, and the legendary Superbowl 5K race is this weekend, the one where we drink and run dressed as five testicles and a penis or something. We're still trying to decide which offensive costume combination to wear, but so far the leading candidates are five people dressed as the U.S. Border, with Gabe dressed as a Mexican chasing them, or Kolleen dressed as Abraham Lincoln running with five slaves. Nothing like a 5'2", 105 lb girl posing as old Honest Abe.