Video of Me Hurling a Cell Phone Against a Brick Wall - 4/10/06
Big web news this week. First, tickets for the two plays I'm producing (and co-wrote) went on sale this morning. Check out If you're thinking of coming, definitely get your tickets early - the theater is small and I'm serious when I say we're going to sell out every show.

Second, the second-annual dunk contest goes online this week (or early next week - haven't decided yet). Rumor has it I make even more of a huge asshole of myself than last year. Stay tuned.

Perhaps as a prelude to the dunk contest (or because I've been meaning to post this for like a month), a little video action for you.

I've been known to have a slight temper when it comes to mechanical objects not functioning properly - I've punched my share of computers and screamed at my share of automobiles. That's how the spacemobile got it famous Tourrette's-Horn problem, in fact - I was mad about the damn van breaking down for the fourth time in a year and I punched the steering column.

And when objects push me to a certain level, really bad things happen to them. Once in college, my printer malfunctioned for the 100th time, and something inside me snapped. I calmly unplugged it, removed the ink cartraiges (even in my rage, I was still cheap), and unceremoniously hurled the printer out my third-story window onto the sidewalk below. It shattered into like 8 pieces, but never pissed me off again.

So last month, when my crappy Cingular cell phone dropped its record-breaking 1,000th call, I decided I'd had enough. This time I was a little more ceremonious; I got dressed up in my old baseball uniform and had Noah film me hurling the offending phone as hard as I could against the brick chimney of our house. Because honestly - who hasn't wanted to do this?

I used to pitch in college, and though I'm sure I've lost something off my fastball, I can still throw hard enough to break the holy living shit out of a cell phone. It was kind of the greatest gadget-rage catharsis ever - I think I might have had a tiny orgasm when the stupid phone exploded, although neither explosion comes across that well on the film. Click on any of the images below to see the video.

13 pieces. That's a new record. I also broke a piece off one of the bricks on the chimney. Of course, I removed the SIM card from the phone first; even in my rage, I'm still cheap.



I wrote a book!

My ridiculous quest to roadtrip to all 48 contiguous states in 48 days.
Support the Pond. Get it here!


previous month (03/2006)     current month (04/2006)     next month (05/2006)