Alex: Released Into The Wild - 5/27/06
My youngest brother Alex graduated college Sunday, and is henceforth released upon the world. I pity you, world.

He graduated from Brown, which was the third $35,000+ college my poor parents have had to pour money into, but at least this marks the end of their having to write checks. Alex was also a pretty decent football player, so although the Ivy League doesn't give athletic scholarships, the financial aid found some mysterious ways to make grant money appear.

But all that's over now. The ceremonies were good, except that there were like eight of them and half of the speeches were in Latin, which made everything twice as long for a dead language nobody understands, not even the person speaking them. The family and I all flew/drove out and helped Alex celebrate/pack all his stuff into boxes.

Rumor has it Alex is moving out here to LA. I pity you, LA. Perhaps the Pond will soon have a new, regular, monstrous character.

Oh and the only personal story to add is that the awesomeness of my getting bumped up to first class for the first half of my trip back was negated by getting stuck in a middle seat in coach for the second half, in front of a screaming baby. Seriously, is there anything more annoying than a baby who screams for the entire four-hour duration of a plane flight? How does it even do that? Doesn't it dry up or something? I really wanted to turn around in the middle of the flight, something like:

ME: (holding a pill in my fingers) For the love of... Here, just give him one of these.
ME: Poison.

Maybe that's not in the travel-safely guidebook, but damnit, a lot of people would have thanked me for it.



I wrote a book!

My ridiculous quest to roadtrip to all 48 contiguous states in 48 days.
Support the Pond. Get it here!


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