Americanians - 10/6/06
One thing that's always troubled me is the inconsistent rules by which you refer to people who are from certain states. I am originally from Minnesota; therefore, I am a Minnesotan. But now I live in California, and am thus a Califonian. Unfortunately, not all states are so clear.

I suppose twenty minutes on Google could answer these questions for me, but as always, it's more fun to speculate wildly.

States that end in vowels are usually pretty straight-forward; especially with an 'a', you usually just add some kind of an 'ns' ending. But something seems a little strange about "Alabamans". Maybe they just go by "Alabammers"; I know if I lived in Alabama, that's what I'd do. Also, does this make people from New Mexico "New Mexicans"?

Other vowels are somewhat less clear. The 'n' ending could still applied, with another added vowel acting as a buffer. But this can become cumbersome. Yet would it be better to go for a more streamlined version? "Ohioans", or "Ohioes"? Sounds like a breakfast cereal. "Idahoians", or "Idahoes"? Neither seems particularly appealing. And what about "Oklahomians"? "Oklahomos"? It'd be shorter, but perhaps not well-accepted by Okies.

Some of the fake-vowel endings provide unique challenges. Are folks from Illinois called "Illinoisans", and if so, do you pronounce the 's'? Maybe "Illinoisyans". Or maybe they just follow the state college and go with "Illini". In any case, it's Illinoying. I'm pretty sure people from Kansas are called "Kansans" - does this make people from Arkansas "Arkansans"? Or maybe "Arkansasians", which looks suspiciously like Arkanz-Asians, except that there aren't any Asians in Arkansas.

People from Rhode Island are called Rhode Islanders; does that mean that people from Maryland are called Marylanders?

New Hampshiranians? New Hampshires? New Hamsters?

Utahns? Utites? Utes?

Mainians? Mainers? Maniacs?

Massachusettians? I don't even want to touch this one. Massachussettesers? Or maybe, given the 'ette' ending, females from this state are simply called Massachusettes, whereas the guys are called Massachussers. Or maybe, since this state name has like nine syllables anyway, they just shorten the whole thing up to Mass-holes.



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