Welcome Home Computer! - 10/25/04
My computer is back from Gateway. They fixed it. No, let me rephrase that. They fixed the shit out of it.

Three weeks ago, my computer had many problems. Which is probably why it was gone for a full three weeks. It would only turn on 5% of the time. When it turned on, the screen had a white stripe across it from three pixel lines that had gone dead, and it scrolled very slowly from having too little memory. The DVD player didn’t work – the CD player worked sometimes. Not to mention the whole frame of the computer was dented, scratched and chipped from numerous occasions of my dropping it or slamming it against things.

Now my computer is fine. That’s because it’s essentially an entirely different computer. In total, the kindly folks at Gateway replaced 7 parts. And not small parts, either. One of these parts was the screen and the frame that holds up the screen. Another part was the entire bottom of the computer, minus the keyboard. In fact, only about 15% of what you can see from the outside of the computer was there before.

The list of repairs and alterations they made to the computer looks like Al Capone’s criminal record. The words “damaged,” “failure,” and “worn” appeared a total of 17 times on the sheet. If my computer was a transplant recipient, it would be far more cyborg than man at this point. If it was a horse, it would have been shot 12 or 13 times, just to make sure it stayed dead.

But modern science performs many miracles, and the resurrection of my computer is another magnificent feather in its cap. All for the low low price off… free. God bless warranties. Brian has been a savior for letting me use his computer basically non-stop since mine went away. If it was not obvious before, it is now – I’m am a hopeless, helpless shell of a man without my computer. For his selfless succor, he will receive a free wireless card, a six pack of New Castle and a promise to not be ‘moted on this website for a full month.

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