It seems the expired registration with the van is a correctable offense, meaning the judge may just dismiss it if I get it taken care of soon. Which is good, because I really don't have 500 dollars to throw away. The seat belt thing is bad enough.
Sadly, though, this may interfere with my eternal Minnesota plate plans. I don't know if they'll buy my "just visting" story - judges are usually a bit smarter than traffic cops. But I do really need to get the ticket cleared, so I'm going to have to roll the dice. Thankfully for this website, rolling the dice always involves a fancy chart.
Here are my options, and the corresponding costs:
We'll see what happens. Worst case, I end my days with calloused hands in a TJ brothel. Wait, maybe that's the best case. No, actually the best case is I'm back where I was before, with a seat belt ticket and another cop story.
Moral of the story, kids: buckle up.