Notes on the IdiOlympics - Part 3 - 12/13/06
Perhaps the most destructive event we've had so far is the Taco Bell eating contest. Or eating contestS. These assaults on our bodies didn't result in any bumps, bruises, or comb-overs, but they did result in my eating 3 pounds of Taco Bell. Both times.

During the middle of the first event, my disgusted roommate Sean stumbled into the room where the competition was taking place, and I advised him that it'd be smart to "leave before the pooping starts".

Most people don't realize what eating 3 pounds of Taco Bell does to you. I have a ridiculously high metabolism (my usual diet consists of 6 parts carbs, 2 parts milk, 1 part McDonalds) and can eat just about anything and recover in a couple hours. But I felt shitty for two full days after each of the Taco Bell competitions. Two full days. Like you wake up the next day still feeling like ass, spend the whole day feeling like ass, go to bed, and then wake up the second morning and still feel like a cow threw up beans down your throat. It's like a really, really bad hangover. Of Mexican food.

The first time, I had to go to security after we were done with the event. It was the longest night of security I've ever had, including the night I forgot my laptop. I had to go outside and walk around the block once an hour or so, just to keep from shitting my security pants.

The second time, I didn't have security, but I did have to stay up the whole night polishing pandasmash for its launch the next morning. I spent half the night at Sam's place, alternately encoding flash videos and feeling myself get fatter from the 4,000 calories I'd consumed. The strangest part about the whole night was that Sam's building at the time had this strange plumbing problem that made all the water automatically hot, even what came out of the cold faucet. Even in the toilet bowl. So I had to keep splashing hot water on my face after each round of burrito evacuation, and reminding myself that the steaming water in the bowl was just a pipe problem, and not boiling as a result of my rancid Taco-logs.

Yes, that's disgusting. And that's why I won't be eating Taco Bell again for at least a month.

Or Del Taco.



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