We have a policy at our house that if you take someone to the airport, you buy then a meal in return. Since this exchange often involves roommate Noah and I, the meal that is exchanged is often Taco Bell. Because, of course, aside from there being an unspoken $10 price cap to this reward meal, Taco Bell is just delicious.
Last summer, during a time of heavy travel for me and heavy unemployment for Noah, he ended up taking me to the airport several times over the course of a couple weeks. And since even Noah, a man of impressive Taco Bell-eating prowess, has his Gordita limit, he wound up with a couple Taco Bell trips saved up.
Rather than engage in a week-long burrito binge (we already had two massive Taco Bell benders last fall), we decided the best move would be to let Noah use up his accrued TBell trips by saving up for a better meal, the way one might saved up several tiny plush Tweety Birds at the fair for one giant Tazmanian Devil. And Noah's Tasmanian Devil was a trip to Ruth's Chris steak house in Beverly Hills.
Last week, Noah finally earned his fifth and final Tbell trip. And last night, he cashed in his big prize.
There's another part to this story - the reason I was convinced to go all the way to Beverly Hills for steak was because Noah is moving out on Monday, ending his three year saga at 702 Paulina. So as a going-away gesture, I offered to drive him however far away we needed to go to get him his Ruth's Chris, and as a bonus spend some extra time together.
It occurred to me as I was on the phone with the Ruth's Chris hostess, reserving a quiet table for two in one of the most expensive restaurants I've ever been to, which I would be paying for... that this might be one of the gayest things I've ever done.
#3 - Went to A Chorus Line, the musical... by myself.
#2 - Read a romance novel
#1 - Had sex with a man's anus
One of these might be made up, but I'll leave it ambiguous as to which one.
Thankfully, Gabe ended up coming along to the dinner, making it a threesome, and making the whole event slightly less gay. Or maybe slightly more gay, who knows. But it did help that I made him pay for himself. I just didn't see a need to have five airport trips saved up for the future.