I've been getting a sky rocketing amount of spam lately. Not that I mind that much - it's not that hard to just go SHIFT DELETE to 20 items every time I check my email, and short of raising my spam filter to the "give everybody a body-cavity search before they can email me" level, it also makes me feel loved when I wake up and there are 50 viagra promoters there waiting for me in my inbox to say good morning.
I have been growing increasingly perplexed, however, by the type of spam I've been getting. Case in point: the Random Word Spam. To demonstrate, you get an email that looks like this:
SUBJECT: WIKIPEDIA DBA|
BODY: Donation, paypal amanda detner pics. Promotes abstinence, oceanside california located miles, north san diego graduated?
Hunchback dame. illinois animals several cats dogs
Least funny late, tv. Resources almost eat voters.
Central binder, front, desk ink simple effective.
Lots though childish girly hold maturity.
Helps everybody routine, proceed charts reviewed. nelly furtado.
(this continues - I just felt like you didn't need to see all 500 words)
And then they proceed to give you a stock tip, as an embedded image, like:
STATUS: Strong Buy
Admittedly, I don't know much about the spam world (purposely so), but I simply don't understand this.
- I didn't read the stock tip emails before, now the long list of random words in front is going to somehow make me interested? I admit that this particular email title caught my attention (out of the other 100 I've gotten today). I like Wikipedia. And I have DBA (Doing Business As) license for my tutoring business. So I looked at the email for five more seconds. But don't they realize that a list of random words is, by nature, random? And thus makes no sense? Is this some statistical hope of eventually finding a coincidental combination of words, a la monkeys at typewriters eventually churning out the complete works of Shakespeare, that somehow makes me want to buy stock tips? I'm afraid you're going to have to hit me with far more than 100 emails a day before that accidentally happens, my friends.
- Or maybe the random words have more to do with getting this email into my box? Like they don't already just have my email address sitting on some spam list? Or what, did I accidentally check a box somewhere indicating a strong preference for 'proceed charts reviewed nelly furtado'?
- I also like that the Stock tip comes in an image, probably to avoid the spam filters. Because clearly, the words "Strong Buy" would throw of the filters, whereas the rest of the random words are apparently fine.
The LJOD people somehow knew, by the precisely-calculated combination of random words they used, that I would see their email and write about it in my blog, thus promoting their product to the world!
…in which case the jokes on them, as LJOD isn't actually the stock they were promoting - it's just a four random letters I put together (with poetic justice in mind).
Eat a vast, heaping bowl of dicks, LJOD spam promoters of the world.