Or should I say, TWO stop signs.
Alright, so I haven't figured out the tech side of the new Paulspond all the way yet, and unfortunately the first draft of this post got deleted... but here's a brief recap:
- Pacific Palisades, a Beverly Hills-esque police state near where I live, has taken to putting red light cameras not only on all the stop lights in town, but also on all stop SIGNS. Apparently, they have solved all other crime.
- One such stop sign, in the parking lot to a PARK (which as you can see from the picture to the right several hundred feet from even the nearest trafficked street) photographed my car not once but TWICE a couple weeks ago. I didn't even know there was a camera there until I got my tickets VIA EMAIL.
- Now, I roll stop signs. In fact, I don't think I've ever actually come to a complete stop at a stop sign, unless there was an multi-car accident directly in the crosswalk or something. So I had little hope of fighting my way out of these tickets, but I figured I'd go to the website and see the pictures just in case. Which is when I discovered that they didn't just have pictures and rader readings of my rolling the stop sign... they had VIDEO.
- I hate Pacific Palisades.
Pac. Palisades - Citation 30294
If you're wondering where the music is coming from, the software with which I screen-captured this video also picked up the kickin' rock song I was listening to at the time. I fucking love Pandora. I also love that I don't appear to be even slowing down very much in this video. But then, why would I? It was just a parking lot, in a park.
Pac. Palisades - Citation 30486
My father always used to tell me: If you're going to blow a stop sign, blow the FUCK out of it.
This time, apparently, I was listening to 'Fuck Her Gently'. I fucking love Tenacious D. I also love the fact that, although my second violation was less than 24 hours later, the first citation is #30296, while the second is #30488. 292 more violation in 20 hours? No wonder Palisades can afford to put video cameras on all of their stop signs.
As if the $180 fine wasn't enough, the traffic bureau felt it would be appropriate to tack on a $2.95 "convenience charge", apparently for the "convenience" of not wasting my time pulling me over, and just butt-raping me via email. This really is a valuable lesson, for other municipalities out there aspiring to the rank of worst city ever.
My only consolation is that the reason I was at the park in the first place was to do an illegal film shoot.
Palisades, eat THAT.