Wholesale Bliss - 3/15/04
So I didn't get a chance to talk about me and Sam's Sam's Club trip last post, because I was too busy being driven to madness and thinking of ways to write the possessive "Sam's" twice in a row. But I shall do so now.

Ah, Sam’s Club. For a mere 35 dollars a year one can indulge in the kind of bulk binge buying usually reserved for Sumo Wrestling Cafeteria Cooks and Y2K Hoarders. Yesterday Sam and I did it for free courtesy of a coupon that was a month expired and only good in California, South Carolina and one city in New York.

They used to sell just food. Or mostly just food. But yesterday my eye was tempted by flat screen televisions, discount jeans and boogie boards.

We wheeled our oversized cart from isle to joyous isle, stocking up on everything non-perishable our house could ever need, even if we lived there for ten more years. Which we might, now that we have awesome new dish soap and a box of Cascade that looks like four phone books taped together.

It became a contest to see who would come up with the most outrageous item. The house topped my 15-pack of Macaroni & Cheese with two 18-packs of paper towels that formed something like a hay bale in our shopping cart. Sam and I both topped that with a five-pound jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter… each. I thought I had it made with 18 hotdogs shrink-wrapped together – nothing like 3 pounds of beaks and testicles for 4 dollars. But Sam eventually won out with his unprecedented purchase of 1500 plastic eating utensils – a 500 count box each of knives, forks and spoons. Those things will seriously biodegrade before he uses them all. We decided not to opt for the 2-pack of trampolines.

Yes, Sam’s Club is the greatest. Yes, we’ll be back, and I’m hoping soon. And yes, it’s only a matter of time before I join Costco. Because it's the same thing just closer.



I wrote a book!

My ridiculous quest to roadtrip to all 48 contiguous states in 48 days.
Support the Pond. Get it here!


previous month (02/2004)     current month (03/2004)     next month (04/2004)