The Post That Got Me Banned - 4/6/09
Once upon the time (last January), there was a blogger named Pau1. Because blogging doesn't pay much, Pau1 also started a standardized test company in Los Angeles, raising kids' chances of watering down the University of California application system, while putting food on Pau1's table. And everyone was happy.

Then one day Pau1 posted the following picture, documenting an awesomely bad B-action movie he had just watched.

There was a reason for the tally marks: Pau1 had been asked by his friend Sasha to write a treatment for the awesomely bad proposed sequel to the awesomely bad B-action movie, and he wanted to make sure he included proportional amounts of explosions/boobies/relevant character development, etc. In the days that followed, the sequel sadly did not moved forward... but the drama ensuing from the post... did.

A few days later, a mother of one of Pau1's students fatefully decided to search Google for his Pau1's name, to see what would come up for the young man who was currently teaching her daughter how to master Sentence Completions. And that's how Pau1's clientele discovered Pau1spond.

The next morning, at the students' counseling office, something like the following took place:

So my daughter's been taking test class with this Pau1 guy. She really likes it, and her score had gone up a lot! I found this other website of his, though, also… I guess he writes about movies and stuff? I saw the word "titties" on the site. Do high school students to know what that word means?

The game of telephone thus began.

Hey, you know that tut0r all our students work with? This parent told me he has this website where he reviews sex movies. Apparently there are just swear words all over the place. I didn't read it or anything though - I'm just guessing.

Hey, did you hear that test guy we send kids to has a smut website? Yeah, I haven't been there, but I heard it involves children.

Pau1 runs an internet pedophi1e ring at our school and teaches students that Jesus had gay AIDS.

The Principle then got on the phone and began calling OTHER schools in the area. Thankfully, they only got to two of them, before they got distracted by a biology book teaching evolution or something. One of the schools had never heard of Pau1 (and now never will), but the other school happened to be Pau1's #1 source of students, and at 8:30am one morning he got a very worried phone call from one of the Assistant Principals there.

Long story short, I was able to straighten things out – the Assistant Principle at my feeder school subsequently actually read read the offending post and decided it was hilarious. But when I tried to return to aforementioned Catholic School, I was politely informed that I was no longer allowed on campus.

And that's how an awesomely bad B-action movie got me banned for life from setting foot on the campus of a Catholic High School. Although all the counselors (except the Head one) curiously still send all their kids to me.

I decided to take Pau1spond down for a little while, just until things blew over. A little while turned into a long while, as my new job at kept me busy and I wanted to focus my creativity there… but I can only keep from wasting your time with my mindless internet ramblings for so long. Now Pau1spond is back, and although I suppose this could potentially result in my getting banned from more schools, I'm willing to risk it. I love blogging too much. I'm also hoping that any future counsellors who might read this realize there's a difference between writing the word "titties" on a white board once and being a bad influence on their students.

Yes, I still run the company. It's a good source of food on my table, and I feel rewarded helping students raise their scores and accomplish their academic goals. Also, it's helpful to have easy access to so many of them, for when I eventually start telling them all the truth about Jesus.



I wrote a book!

My ridiculous quest to roadtrip to all 48 contiguous states in 48 days.
Support the Pond. Get it here!


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