10 Things the Spinning Beach Ball of Death SHOULD Be - 7/31/09

You hate the Spinning Beach Ball of Death (and its Windows counterpart, the Evil, Twirling Hourglass of Terror).

It means your program's about to crash, your computer's about to freeze, and you're about to put your fist through the screen because you now have to redo your last two hours of work.



Making a cutesy icon of a cursor that means imminent doom is like naming the most jagged double black diamond on the ski hill "Pussywillow". Why don't they draw it like it is? Here are 10 Icons the Whirling Pinwheel of Doom (or the Slowly Rotating Hourglass of Suck My Nutsack) should be:

1.
(Your Computer, butt-raping you.)



2.




3.
(The deuce, brought to you by some guy from the 50's.)



4.




5. or
(Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, butt-raping you (see, we're not platform-partial.)
I feel like Jobs would take his time, while Gates would really let you have it.)




6.




7.
(the Duck Hunt Dog, laughing at you doing your last hour of work over again.)



8.




9.
(God, taking a windy shit on your computer.)



10.
(The World, butt-raping you.)


But no. We have a stupid, spinining, color wheel. But it's so cute, you say! Look at that harmless, round shape and those pretty, swirling colors! What could be more innocent?

Fuck you, Beach Ball. I know your true colors.

Sign up for the email list at Paulspond.com and I'll email you tiny versions of these, small enough to actually make them your wait cursor. Speaking of which, anybody know how to do this?


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